My Big, Scary Dream


While reading Girl Wash Your Face, Rachel challenged everyone to stop reading and write down a big, scary dream. I paused and started thinking. I felt like I should write down what a typical big dream would be. Should I want my blog to make me a six figure income? Should I want to become insta-famous? I know. I want to own a huge house and perfect cars. Those are all normal dreams for people my age, right?

Obviously, I would love for this blog to make an income. But, I don’t care about a six figure income.. I just want to contribute to my family while homeschooling. So, I started thinking about what my dream really is.

Then, it smacked me in the face.

I want to own a homestead. Not your typical dream life in 2018, but it is mine. It’s been mine for a while.

This is something that I’ve been studying about for quite some time. I have read books and pinned all of the pins on pinterest. I have subscribed to Youtube channels. I’ve been soaking in all of the knowledge that I can in my “free” time.

Will this big dream come true? I don’t know. Scott and I are on the same page that we would love to make it happen one day down the road. We would both love for our girls to grow up knowing the value of hard work. We’d love to go pick food for our dinner. Our real dream with a homestead is to be able to live a sustainable life where we don’t rely on a store nearly as much. We would know how our food is grown.

My parents owned 30 acres of land in Illinois for several years. When we first visited after they bought it, I thought “what on earth where they thinking?” Everything was so overgrown. The grass and weeds were up to my knees everywhere we went. But, I watched as it slowly became a beautiful piece of land. Just mowing the grass instantly transformed it. It was so beautiful that Scott and I ended up getting married there. It was peaceful out there. My mom and dad worked their rear ends off every weekend. It was really incredible to witness this overgrown place get transformed into a beautiful retreat. My mom had a garden. I loved it. Maybe that is where the little seed of my dream was planted.


The definition of a homestead in the community is always different. Some say that you are only a homesteader if you live on land that you farm and are completely self sufficient. Others say that as long as you are making an EFFORT to be sustainable and live off of what you can grow or make, then you are a homemaker. I don’t know which is right.

What I do know is that we are going to plant a garden this year. We have a good sized yard, and are going to plant herbs, fruits, and vegetables that we frequently use. When I did container gardening last year, it was pretty successful. The herbs grew like crazy. I couldn’t use them fast enough, it seemed. Our plants moved with us from Oklahoma to Illinois. I think the move was a little hard on them, because they stopped growing as well. Maybe the shift in climate wasn’t good for them. Either way, I learned that my thumb is not completely black. I ordered some seeds from Seed Savers Exchange. This is why I chose them. There are more plants I hope to grow, so I’ll be checking out some of the other seed brands that Shaye Elliott recommended.

I am going to continue learning. I’m going to work with what I have, and “homestead” the best I can in suburbia.

I’ll continue making fresh bread from scratch. I’ll continue working on perfecting my sewing.. or at least making it acceptable. HAHA! I learned to crochet a few years ago and have been working on an infinity scarf. I want to learn the crafts that were just common knowledge in the past. Hopefully our garden will grow.

Our lives are so up the air. We are unsettled. We know that where we are is not where we will stay. Ministry has absolutely not been pulled off the table. This dream could be something silly on my heart that will never come to fruition. But, it is a dream that could easily go hand-in-hand with ministry one day.

Thanks for letting me share this dream of mine. I think we don’t always allow ourselves to have dreams.. though this really feels like a GOAL of ours more than a dream.


I’ll share some resources below and try to remember to update this list as I find more.


The Elliott Homestead   (this is my favorite book so far. She had a dream like me, and it has come true.)

The Backyard Homestead

The Backyard Homestead Seasonal Planner


Youtube Channels and Videos:

The Elliott Homestead Youtube channel

WildRoots Homestead Youtube Channel   (They have a vegan homestead!)

Time-lapse of building a homestead!   Super cool!




Why We Homeschool

One of the first questions that I get when people find out that we homeschool is “WHY?!” That is, after they say “I would never have the patience to do that.” (Spoiler alert: I AM NOT PATIENT.) I figured that a lot of people are curious about this, so I’ll just write it out here. I also know that many people think about homeschooling, so maybe this post will be helpful when it comes to listing the “pros” for choosing to homeschool.

1. Different learning styles– No two children learn exactly the same. My two oldest children learn in completely different ways. I am able to work with each child individually, and help them learn in a way that they understand. It really stretches me, as I learn a certain way and sometimes have to switch up how I teach. Learning isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. Some kids also aren’t ready to start school super early in the morning, so we are able to get a later start and have more clear minds and better focus. I can allow my child to fidget in their seat (or stand), as long as the work is getting done, without disturbing other classmates.

2. Customizable education- One of my children struggles with phonics. I actually decided to pull back and have her start with a grade below for her phonics class so that she wasn’t getting drug along. If she were held back in an entire grade, she would be bored to tears because she excels at all of the other subjects. If we don’t like a certain subject in the curriculum we have chosen, we can pick something else that works better for us. Being able to mix and match for your children’s needs is a huge help, and probably one of the greatest benefits of homeschooling. They could also be bumped up a grade in a certain subject without being overwhelmed in others.

3. Freedom- We are not bound to a strict schedule. We don’t take snow days off. We can take warm weather days off and enjoy a “sun” day. We can travel at a different time of year than just June/July when most people are traveling. We can take school work with us when we travel if it is needed. Sickness happens. Sometimes, sickness knocks you down for a week or more. Our kids aren’t left behind in the dust; we are able to pause and pick back up when everyone is back to feeling great. Thankfully this year, we have only had one instance of sickness that made us take time off from school. When we lived in Oklahoma, there was constant major sickness that would have caused the kids to be in trouble with the school for missing so much.


4. Our values are reinforced- We get to decide when and how our kids learn about sex, drugs, etc. I just heard a statistic that made me sick. The AVERAGE age that kids start sexting is TEN. What. on. earth. TEN! Kids have found crazy ways of getting high that they think are perfectly harmless. I don’t want my kids robbed of their innocence. I’m not going to bury their heads in the sand and hope that they never ever learn about these things. That is stupid. But, I want them to learn about sex from us. I don’t want them learning from the peers who heard about it from their big brother/sister. I want them to learn about it all in a healthy way. (For the record, teaching that sex is evil is also NOT healthy..) Girls are developing eating disorders as early as 9. Suicides are happening at an absurdly young age. How do these kids even know what this is? How do they know how to go through with it? I don’t understand.

5. Life skills are taught- There are only so many hours in a day in schools. Classrooms are overcrowded, and teachers have a LOT on their plate. Test scores have to be high for schools to receive “enough” funding. (I use enough loosely, because no school receives enough funding.) Kids are coming out of school knowing how to take a test, but lacking any real life skills. How many of you learned to do your taxes, grow a garden, or write a check? A lot of kids don’t even know how to do their own laundry when they graduate. With homeschooling, I am able to teach the typical educational classes along with really important life skills that will help them be a successful adult. Test taking doesn’t help you with a darn thing.

6. Time- Our school day is shorter than the traditional school day. We don’t have to line up single file and spend 15 minutes each time on bathroom breaks. We are able to work through the material at our pace, not getting bored of a concept that is understood or rushing through one that is not. My kids get enough time to eat their entire lunch. There is just a lot more time for everything that is important.

7. Socialization- Wait? Did I just write that a BENEFIT of homeschooling is socialization? But, my kids don’t know how. Aren’t homeschoolers freaks that don’t know how to socialize? Let me just say that I went to public school my whole life, and I am super socially awkward.. so that clearly is a silly argument. HA! My kids socialize with EVERYONE! They aren’t afraid to say hello to a grown up in the grocery store. They know how to play with and encourage kids younger than themselves. They make friends everywhere they go. The neighborhood kids are always ringing the doorbell wanting to play. When we go to the park, they are instantly friends with whomever is there. If the park is empty, they are disappointed that they don’t have friends to play with. The biggest misconception about homeschooling is that kids won’t know how to socialize. Homeschooled kids know how to socialize with everyone; they just aren’t forced to associate with certain people.


These are just some of the biggest reasons why we chose to homeschool. I know that I will receive a lot of criticism– why, I will never understand. I will never understand why people act like my decision affects their lives.

Homeschooling is not easy. It takes up a lot of MY time, as I am planning for each day and putting things together for the lessons. It is frustrating when you feel like you have explained a concept every way possible, and your child is still not grasping it. Have you ever TAUGHT  child to read? My goodness. It’s hard. This is my fourth year of homeschooling. There are days I want to quit. But, then I ask myself why I started this in the first place. Homeschooling wins in my mind. Hands down. It is something that I have spent a lot of time praying about; since my babies were born. It is not something that I just dove into head first without really looking at the options and thinking it through

If you homeschool, why did you choose to do so? What are the biggest misconceptions that you have found people to have about homeschooling? Or, if you don’t homeschool, what are some misconceptions that you have about homeschooled kids? What comes to your mind first when someone says their kids are homeschooled?


**I also want to say that there are so many curriculums that offer videos. Your child can get a private school education from the comfort of your own home. Many curriculum choices have an accredited option, so college is much easier. There are SO many misconceptions about homeschooling that cause many people to not go through with it, even though it is their desire.**


I feel like I also have to say that this is also not meant to be an attack on public schools. I have so many friends that are phenomenal teachers and I have so much respect for them. They do an amazing job. Schools ARE underfunded and programs are getting cut constantly. That is NOT the teachers’ fault. They do the best they can with what they have, and are spending a lot of money out of their own pockets to make sure they can give their students a great education. So, please, if you are a teacher, know that I love and respect you a ton.

Spending Freeze- Week 2


Scott brought me a cherry coke. I don’t feel one ounce of regret for that. Sipping cherry coke is something that settles my stomach when I feel nauseous. I think it was just a lot of stress, but last week I didn’t feel great. I was hardly eating and feeling blah. I was so thankful when Scott walked in with a cherry coke one day.

Week two has been a little tricky, and we haven’t fully succeeded. I have a couple of gift cards from a rebate that I had set aside for this month. Over the weekend, we had a winter storm. Nothing major, but enough to keep us inside. I put the gift card on my amazon account, and we rented My Little Pony: The Movie. It ended up not charging the gift card. Womp. The girls were entertained and quiet for a couple of hours, which was SO welcomed. I did use the gift card to buy some batteries for our smoke detectors since one needs replaced. (Gift cards are totally allowed during a spending freeze as long as you don’t go above them.)

I also went to Kroger to pick up some freebies. (If you don’t have the Kroger app, you are missing out!) Evidently I didn’t pick the right things on all of them, so I had to pay a little bit. Again, nothing major, but still frustrating. I could have told them I didn’t want them, but it was all things that we would use. (A sports drink will be awesome if someone gets a stomach bug..or I start running again.) Plus, I’d feel like a jerk telling them I made a mistake, so they have to go put all of my junk back. My fault.

Last night was the bigger fail. The meat for dinner was completely frozen when I went to cook it for tacos. I don’t like microwaving ground turkey because it turns rubbery and NASTY, so I was trying to think of something that I could make easily. Fast food sounded really good to Scott. He hasn’t been feeling super awesome, so if something sounded good to him, I told him to go for it. It was kind of nice to have a treat and not have to clean up dishes after dinner. A loss for the freeze, but win for me. haha!

Week two wasn’t totally successful, but we have still saved so much more than we typically do. We’ve put more into savings. We have something there if an emergency comes up, which helps us breathe easier. So, I call that a win, even with the shortcomings. The nice thing is, there are no spending police that are going to come out and smack or knuckles with a ruler if we make a mistake. But, it has made us so much more mindful.

We are halfway there. Let’s see if we can be more successful in week three!


Life is Meant to be Lived

GWYF quote


I am not even halfway through this book, and my mind is already blown over and over again. I have been underlining and highlighting huge sections. Rachel wrote this book directly to me. I’m sure of it.

Actually, she wrote it for all of us. A powerful message that women need to hear. But, I’m not here to do a book review. I’m here to share something that I learned this weekend.

I’ll give you a little back story. I am a people pleaser. If someone asks me to do something, I say yes. I say yes even if everything within me is weeping over how badly I DON’T want to do the thing. I say yes even when I want to scream NO! I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I have always been this way. I lent out pencils and pens and so much of my own stuff in high school that my mom always had to buy new stuff for me. I have loaned out so many books without them being returned. I know who I lent each book to, because my memory just works that way.  I was always excited to hear what people thought of the book. Do I confront them and ask for my books back? Nope. I’d hate to offend anyone. Someone borrowed my blow drier and kept it! Dresses, swimsuits.. you name it. It’s out there with some other person. Maybe. Maybe they just truly don’t care and got rid of MY things.

I make myself miserable by always doing what others want. MISERABLE.

I am an introvert by nature. I’m  not miserable because I am an introvert. I get miserable because people seem to think they need to FIX me, and pull me into uncomfortable situations. I do not get a thrill out of being around tons of people. I get completely exhausted and overwhelmed. I get panicked. But, that is unacceptable to so many people, so I say yes to going places when I don’t want to. I don’t enjoy it. Craft shows? I’m there. I love that. But, most of the time. Nope. Please stop.  I get filled up by reading a book, taking a walk alone, laying in the sunshine doing nothing.

I say yes to helping with things that I don’t really love doing, which only takes away from the little time I have to do the things that I do love. I love helping people. That is my nature. I love cooking a meal for someone who is sick or just had a baby. I love to drop off little gifts for people. I love helping organize and clean things up. I love that.

The things that you love are probably different from mine. Who loves to help people clean? ha! God made us that way. It allows us to function a whole lot better as a “family” when everyone has different strengths.

How many of you say yes to things that you DON’T WANT TO SAY YES TO. I’m sure almost all of you thought “yep, sure do”. WHY?! Why do we do this to ourselves?

I have told Scott so  many times that I feel like we aren’t even LIVING our life. We are just surviving day to day. Then, I read Rachel’s quote above, and I about fell over. You mean, I’m not the only one feeling this way?

Yes, there are responsibilities. Jobs have to be worked to pay the bills. I have to do loads upon loads of laundry so that my  family doesn’t go around naked. I spend most of the day teaching my children. (I homeschool, if you didn’t know that.) Then, I spend the rest of the day cleaning up the disasters that Harper as created and doing all of the household things that a stay-at-home mom does. I’m exhausted. (I know that working moms are just as exhausted, I just don’t have the experience to speak on it.) Then, throw in all of the things that I say yes to when I don’t want to. I have NO time to do anything that fills me up. I have been trying to pour from an empty vessel for so long.

No. More. I will not say yes when I don’t want to say yes. I will not continue to do “extra” things that just further drain me.

I said no to someone today. I planned on writing about this before this situation ever came up.  I think it was really God challenging me to see if I was actually going to go through with the commitment I am making to myself– to my family. I said no, and immediately after sending my response I felt sick. I HATE disappointing people. But, do you know what saying yes would have meant? It would have meant that I would exhaust myself. I would drain myself even more. I would feel a sense of dread every day until that commitment came and went.

This isn’t all about me. Do you know what a drained wife and mother become? They become bitter and cranky. They take out their frustration on their families. They become miserable to be around. My husband and my kids deserve to get the best version of me. My marriage is my first priority under my relationship with Jesus. My children ARE my ministry. Those things all have to come first, for all of us.

We need to stop glorifying busy. It’s like we get bragging rights if we have the most loaded schedule. We are doing it to our kids, too. Running them from activity to activity. Robbing them of their childhood, and robing you of precious time watching them grow. I will not fall into this trap. I’m not saying that all activities are bad, so don’t start casting stones. I loved having Chloe in dance class, and want to be in a place where we can do that again for our girls. This season of rest has bee nice though.

I am challenging you to look at your life. Are you just surviving? Is your family just getting the leftovers of you? We have to stop this. We cannot continue to watch our society and families falling apart and wonder what went wrong. If we want to make any progress, we have to make big changes.

It’s not easy. Nothing worth having is easy. If it is worth it to you, you are going to find a way. You will find a way to make it happen.

Do one thing today that makes you feel like you are LIVING.



I would give just about anything to be in this place again. I am the type of person who NEEDS to be outside. We’ve had some warm days here and there where I was able to go for a walk with the girls. I’m so tired of grey skies and no sunshine.

I have realized that I really dislike the Midwest. I knew that before. Everyone told me “Oh, you’ll miss it.” No. No, I really didn’t. I don’t find the midwest beautiful like some do. If you do, that’s great and wonderful for you. I loved living an hour from the Great Lakes. I loved walking the beach, even if it was cold. I loved living in Oklahoma with the rolling hills. I loved driving just a few minutes and seeing the beautiful countryside. I loved hiking.

I always feel this way in Winter. I got spoiled in Oklahoma, because we were able to go out and play year round. Sure, there were days that were cold, but not usually unbearable.

I get such Wanderlust. (According to Wanderlust is defined as “a strong desire to travel”.)

I want to see it all. I was blessed to grow up traveling. I have seen the Grand Canyon, Salt Lake, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone, Wisconsin Dells, and the beauty of my birth-state New Mexico. I know there were so many more incredible places. I hated being crammed in the car, and I’m sure my parents have emotional scars from all of the complaining. But, I realize how lucky I was to see so much of the beautiful country we live in. I knew several people who had never left Illinois.

The one major bonus to moving so frequently is that we have lived in many really beautiful places. We’ve done a lot of exploring. Sure, we lived in the most dangerous cities in Michigan, but the rest of Michigan was stunning.  There was so much we didn’t get to explore. We lived in “Green Country” in Oklahoma. We saw wild horses and buffalo roaming the plains. When Scott and I first got married, we lived in the Ozarks. It’s all so beautiful. There is so much out there to see.

I have this dream of fixing up a camper and traveling with my family. Not living in it, I’m not that level of crazy. But, to travel and show our daughters that there is so much more outside of these four walls would be incredible.

If I could load up and go anywhere right now, I’m honestly not sure where I would pick. I love the Carolinas. It’s probably warmer there. I’d give anything to go to Tennessee again and relive our beautiful honeymoon. I want to see California. I’d love to travel abroad and see the world- London, Greece, or Italy.

I’m writing this, as I sit in my basement. It is cold inside and outside. We had a slight winter storm last night that left church cancelled. I’m going completely bananas. I’m stir crazy. I am grouchy. I get in this winter funk from the lack of sunshine. I used to go lay in a tanning bed once a week, which actually helped a lot. I know they are dangerous though, so I haven’t done it in years. My mental state knows it.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you chose?


Book Review- To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

I have deviated from my initial list of 10 books I’ll read in 2018. We took a trip to the Library.. That’s really all that needs said. I read a book for this blind date thing the library is doing. They wrapped up several books in kraft paper, and put a little note on the front with a short synopsis of the story. If you read and review a book, you are entered to win a prize. I got this book. It was really good, but not something I’d typically read.

I also saw that To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before was finally in stock, so I snatched it up. Janssen has recommended it a lot. I mean A LOT. She loves it, and she has never once steered me wrong before. Here is her review.

This book is Young Adult fiction. What I love about young adult chick lit is that it’s typically not trashy. I’m not a fan of romance novels. I’m not a fan of books that make me feel like I need to take a hot shower after to wash away the filth. Just HEARING about 50 shades makes me want to take a shower and cry for anyone who thinks that is romance.

Lara Jean is a teenager whose mother passed away when she was young. She has two sisters, and is the middle child. Her older sister, Margot, goes off to college, which leaves her “in charge” of many of the motherly duties.

She has written letters to every boy she has ever loved over the course of time. They are essentially goodbye letters when she no longer loves them. One day, her letters are mysteriously mailed out to these boys. It makes her life a whole lot more interesting as the boys who receive these letters confront her. Some reveal that they liked her also. Some still do.

I don’t want to give away a lot of the story, because that is where the fun is.

I know a lot of people roll their eyes at teen love stories. Me? I married my high school sweetheart. I found myself literally smiling through much of the book because it made me think of the time spent dating Scott. Lara Jean’s curfew is 1 AM though, and mine was 10 PM. haha!

This really is a delightful story. I finished reading the book in two days. As soon as Scott got home from work, I went to the library to check out the second in the series. I was seriously disappointed when it was already checked out. I grabbed the third one and read it in less than 24 hours. Now, I wait for my hold on P.S. I Still Love You to come in. Though, I really should just buy them all at some point, because I want to read them over and over again!

If you are looking for a fun read, I cannot recommend this book enough.

A move is currently being made, too!! My image of Margot looking like Sadness from Inside Out is going to be ruined..which will be a good thing!

I have read 5 books so far this year. I just started Girl, Wash your Face today and am ready to be blown away with inspiration.

What are some good books that you have read lately?


Spending Freeze- week 1 update


We have finished up our first week of the spending freeze! Remember, we built in that we would buy milk, bread, and produce (Gas, also, obviously.) when it was needed. Otherwise, we were guaranteed to fail. We actually don’t use milk or bread super often. Produce is a must around here though.

I realized on day 2 or so that I was about to run out of Thieves oil. Listen, it is cold and flu season. Thieves is the #1 tool in my wellness toolbox. How I did not think about it before, I don’t know. I thought of E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G else. I broke our freeze to buy some more Thieves. I don’t regret it for a moment. I wish I had thought of it just a few days before, so that our freeze would have been successful in week one.

It hasn’t been too difficult aside from that. Though, I would give anything for a cherry coke from Sonic. I am sure that it will get more difficult toward the end of the month. I wrote out a bit of a skeleton menu plan through the end of February so that I wouldn’t be scratching my head trying to figure out what to make.

I was really thankful to see Jordan’s post about getting out of debt in 3 steps yesterday. She and her husband paid off a tremendous amount of debt on an income similar to ours in a very short time. So inspiring.

It’s just a short update this week, since it’s still the beginning. I’m not counting on it staying easy. Haha!